The MRI

The night before the MRI, it is very hard to sleep. There are so many things running through my mind. I want to--and do--trust God to be there for us. But at the same time, my memory keeps bringing up things in the past and my anxious mind plays through "what MIGHT happen". I know much of it is while my body is exhausted and trying to sleep, so it seems worse than it really is.

As soon as Justin finishes his MRI, we walk over to the cancer center, where they are waiting to see us with the results. There are three main options; the doctor will flip out and say, "IT'S GONE! There's no sign of the cancer!" Or, he might say, "there is no change." Or, he might say, "I'm sorry to inform you, but it is getting worse."
The first two I can live with! But the third one is frightening. Might there be a recurrence of the seizures? That would mean no more driving and probably no more job. I can live with that because Justin is my son and I will take good care of him. But I hurt for him when he can't do the things he would like to do. To take away a man's ability to drive is very difficult for him. It is hard to be dependent on others to get to where you need to be, and impossible to get out because you just plain want to. No more hopping in the car and going for a drive because you feel like it. And no more errands on your own schedule. It is very hard.

So the night before his MRI, I tried to sleep and did not have much success. Initially I slept a few hours, then woke and couldn't get back to sleep. Then I felt pressured because I have to drive 120 miles each way and didn't want to drive tired. My mind churned over and over with all sorts of unknown situations. I finally fell asleep, only to have my alarm go off an hour or so later. Ugh.

Justin's MRI went well, although the wait was much longer than usual. They got the IV in on the first try, which is a blessing! We walked to the radiation oncology center and they called us right back. The doctor came in and shook our hands, and made some small talk. Then he got right to it. "Well, I don't see any changes. Everything looks good. How long has it been since your last MRI?" So we discussed how long to wait until the next one, and I told him about the thyroid appointments. He said he'd like to see us in three months again.

Wow. Good news again. And are we thankful! Up until that time, we are wound up really tight. As soon as we digest the news, all the pressure is released and we feel tremendous relief. Then I could sleep for 24 hours!...but have that drive back home.

This time I had a dentist appointment to recheck my January root canal. Thank goodness everything was fine.

My Monthly Update

I'm getting pretty bad at blogging. I had a blog years ago and gave it up because I got tired of thinking of something new to write about. But because of the content of the beginning of this blog, I want to see it through.

A week in Atlanta was just what I needed. It was great to be there and see my southern family. If it were a little closer or a little cheaper, I would love to go more often. This is Josh dropping me off at the airport, on his way back to work. It was wonderful to see him and Hannah again.

Now it is October, and we are gearing up for fall and winter. When the house went up for sale, we had two families look at the house right away. And since then, not one person has shown any interest. It will be interesting to see what happens. I hate moving in the winter, but then I hate moving any time. I am not looking forward to that, but I try not to think about it much.

Justin had his appointment to find out about his thyroid. There has been very little change in 18 months, which is good. However, the hospital here wants him to see the surgeon and the endocrinologist, to get their approval to let him have any surgery or treatment in Iowa City. Funny thing, though. He can't get in to see the endocrinologist until mid-January. Guess they are not in that big of a hurry, or else their doctor is swamped with work. At least we are reminded it is not an emergency.

This Wednesday is the MRI we have been waiting for. If the MRI shows the cancer is stable, they will let him go longer before the next one. Part of me is excited that they are confident of the slow growth of the cancer, but the mommy in me would rather go more often, just to be on the safe side. And this time, his appointment isn't first thing in the morning, so we don't have to leave home at the crack of dawn. Yea!

While we are in Iowa City, I get to return to the dental college to have a recheck on my root canal. I can still "feel" my tooth, which is weird since the root canal is supposed to kill the nerves. So I am not sure what the outcome will be. If I do have to get it done again, I will just bite the bullet and have it done near home...I don't want them to mess up my crowns again. I would trust them to do great work on any of my other teeth, but they don't have the tools to work on ceramic crowns. I'm still paying off my bill from their mistake.

We've had an inch of snow already, so the weather bug in me is gearing up for the winter...I know I'm not normal, but I love snow, snowstorms and the renewal that happens when the winter is over. It's part of the normal process of seasons, and I try to enjoy each one.

Vacation!

I needed a vacation! I really didn't know how much until I was away from my normal day-to-day. I like what I do, but there is a "rut" that is good to get away from now and then.

The doctor I work for took a week of vacation, and I would have had very little to do during that time. It happened to coincide with Josh's birthday, so I quickly made plans to take a trip to see him.

On the flight down, we had some rough weather. We had to fly through a thunderstorm in order to land. I have had some bumpy flights, but never experienced "drops" before. Several times during the decent, the whole plane dropped. I was sitting above the wing, so I could see the wing bouncing! Everyone in the plane squealed like school girls, then laughed once we were flying smoothly again. I was listening to classical music on Sirius, and the selection was very animated, almost circus-like--very fitting to the flapping and bouncing the plane was doing. Call me weird, but I enjoyed it! (I had Dramamine in me, so it didn't make me airsick.)
The train ride was fast and interesting, with the exception of a "homeless" man that solicited funds from the passengers. I just acted like everyone else and ignored him.

I have had a great time so far. I love spending time with Josh and Hannah, but it is also nice to have some days with very little to do. I will post some pictures once I am home.

Happy Birthday, Josh!

It was a surprise, so I didn't share it with very many people. My oldest, Josh, was having his 30th birthday and I didn't want to miss it. So I got on the Internet and found a great deal on plane fare. The morning of his surprise birthday party, I got in the car, drove 3 hours, parked, and flew south. The plane trip actually took a lot less time than the drive. I arrived in the big city and took the train to the station near their house, where Hannah picked me up. Jason called from home and said Josh was at the mall next door to the train station, where he was getting a hair cut! We had to get out of there! Josh called Hannah while I was in the car and they talked for a few minutes while I sat, grinning. He had no idea I was in town!

Hannah and I had a great time walking around the square and doing a little shopping before the party. We got to the restaurant about a half hour before he did. We knew the surprise party wasn't really a surprise anymore--it is hard to pull a fast one on Josh! But he had NO idea I was there. When he saw me, he said, "Now THAT'S a surprise!" It was great to see him, his wife, in-laws and friends.

Afterward, we went to Pete & Hollie's for cake and ice cream. We had a wonderful time.

While your children are little, you wonder if they will grow up to be decent, normal people! It is such a blessing to see Josh and Hannah all grown up and living their lives far away from their childhood homes, prospering and blessing those around them. They are doing great!

Moving Again.

Even though we signed a lease on the house we live in, the landlord decided to sell. So this week a Realtor came by, looked the place over and put up a sign in the front yard. So it is official. Our opinion is that the house is overpriced for this area, but who knows--someone might want exactly what we have.

This picture is of the bike trail and lake near our house. It is a beautiful trail that gets a lot of use by us and many others. We will miss it!

The sign went up on Thursday. On Friday, a strange man walked right in the house without knocking! He asked Jason the price and how many bedrooms. Jason was pretty mad and told the guy, "you NEVER just walk in someone's house! Go call the number on the sign!" Oh, brother. We knew we would have to have the house ready to show at any time, but never thought someone would come right in!

The results of Justin's CT scan are in. He has an appointment for September 8 to talk to the doctor at the local hospital. We got a (comical) letter in the mail from that hospital. "The results of the CT scan of your thyroid are back. It appears the thyroid may be abnormal." Well, duh. Ya think?

Justin's next MRI will be October 14. Please pray that there are no changes. Thanks so much!

State Fair Time

Today I am going to the Iowa State Fair. It is a tradition of mine. I have no specific reason to go, nothing in particular that I have to see. I don't buy concert tickets or enter my photography, sewing or cooking for a prize. I don't go for the food, which is the reason most people say they go. I don't have to see the cow made of butter or the largest bull in the state. And I am not interested in looking at farm implements or buying a new vacuum cleaner. I won't buy a bucket of hot chocolate chip cookies, funnel cake, turkey leg, or any of the dozens of things on a stick. I won't step foot on the midway or go near the beer tents. I probably won't spend more than $10, although I sure would if I could. There is a sewing machine there I love...

There is something about the Fair. It is just fun to be there with all the people, the animals, the sounds, the smells, the busyness, the music, and the free entertainment everywhere you look. It is the same feeling when you are in New York City for the day, or at Niagara Falls or on a cruise ship. It is the camaraderie of thousands of people all sharing in the same experience at the same time. Everyone is there for fun. No one is in a rush, on a schedule or wishing they were somewhere else.




I will grab a shaken lemonade, sit in the shade and just watch. In just a few minutes, there will be thousands of different people walking by, a clown in a little car, a cop on horseback, golf carts loaded with ice, a hundred strollers full of cute babies and miscellaneous purchases, a juggler, a school field trip with all the little kids hanging onto a single rope, and teenagers in many different fashion statements from cute to totally weird. It is much better than TV. I will walk to the top of the hill to the house, sit on the porch in a rocker and let the breeze cool me off. I'll walk through many of the buildings to see all the displays, talents, wares, samples, and ideas. I will ride the sky ride, just because I can. I will eat something good for me for supper so that I am not tempted to buy all the junk...but I will also have something junky just for fun. I'll sit in on a free concert or two, watch a demonstration of a new kitchen gadget, look at the "most ugly cake" winners, and go through the horse barn to see the beauties there.

And when I leave, I know I will not have seen half of what I could have, so I will have to go back next year!

CT Scan

Justin has a CT scan scheduled for tomorrow (Monday). Pray that all goes well. It is to check the size of his thyroid. I'll post the results of this and his blood work, but it may be a month before we find out!

We had a great thunderstorm late this afternoon. There were beautiful cloud banks, fabulous lightning displays, and rain coming down so hard it looked like a blizzard. I love storms.