I hadn't seen Cherie or Alan since Monday afternoon. That was unusual. As I was walking past the front desk, I saw a sympathy card addressed to someone with the first name "Cherie". My heart sank. We don't know each other's last names here, so I tracked down a staff member, just to be sure. She softly let me know that Alan had died during the night. She said everyone was really surprised...they felt like he was a fighter and would have lived many more months.
It REALLY hit me hard. I hurt for Cherie. She had so much on her plate, but now she is without her husband of many years. But I guess this whole thing became more real to me. I have been able to put off the future by dealing with the day-to-day. I don't want to dwell on the future, full of things I know nothing of, but I don't want to ignore it either.
It is days like this that I want to ask why me? or why us? But I have learned during my life that I am to say, why not me? or why not us? It is not my place to question why, just trust God to help us through the "how". Take a big breath and a step forward....
On a brighter note, Justin says he is feeling better. He had quite a lot of energy today. After his treatment, we saw the medical team. Justin has no symptoms, no complaints and no questions. The doctor said, "so far, so good". They have no news to report, no issues and no problems. He said this is how he likes to see treatments go.
We went to the mall to walk a lap, and tonight we were given tickets to the Iowa men's basketball game. We are really looking forward to that.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Another Week
Due to Justin's radiation being at 9:00 each morning, we decided to return to Iowa City the evening before, rather than having to get up early and rush around to get here. It is so much easier that way.
When we returned Monday night, we again saw Cherie and Alan. I hadn't seen them for a few days. He seemed in pretty good spirits. He had his Bible on the dining room table and was underlining verses with a highlighter. I didn't have much time to talk, but told them I would see them later.
I brought my sewing machine along this time, so I have something to do while Justin is busy or napping. I like to read, but sitting in the same place for hours isn't so much fun anymore, so I needed something else to do. Another mom brought her scrapbooking, so we have our stuff in a meeting room, ready when we are. I have found this to be quite satisfying. My goal is to finish up quite a few of my undone projects. I have 2 done already and I'm on my 3rd book.
Justin is glad to be underway with his treatment. We will meet with his medical team of doctors, nurses and residents every Wednesday after his radiation. They will let us know how things are going and see if we have any questions or problems.
When we returned Monday night, we again saw Cherie and Alan. I hadn't seen them for a few days. He seemed in pretty good spirits. He had his Bible on the dining room table and was underlining verses with a highlighter. I didn't have much time to talk, but told them I would see them later.
I brought my sewing machine along this time, so I have something to do while Justin is busy or napping. I like to read, but sitting in the same place for hours isn't so much fun anymore, so I needed something else to do. Another mom brought her scrapbooking, so we have our stuff in a meeting room, ready when we are. I have found this to be quite satisfying. My goal is to finish up quite a few of my undone projects. I have 2 done already and I'm on my 3rd book.
Justin is glad to be underway with his treatment. We will meet with his medical team of doctors, nurses and residents every Wednesday after his radiation. They will let us know how things are going and see if we have any questions or problems.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Holidays and Hard Days
Due to the Martin Luther King Holiday, Justin doesn't have radiation today. Although it is nice to have a day off, it just makes the radiation go another day longer.
I didn't realize how tough it was going to be to do this. In our usual life, we have problems, you have problems, everyone struggles at times with hardships and trials. If you haven't, you will. But now we are surrounded by dozens of people who are in the midst of life and death! They are struggling with things much bigger than the normal problems of life. I didn't realize how hard it would be on my emotions until I was home again. It took me a day or so to just to adjust back to normal.
We feel that we have been ushered into whole new lives. The people are different, the places are different, and the circumstances are different. Suddenly everything is new and much harder. And yet, God is here, just as He was, and just as He will be.
I didn't realize how tough it was going to be to do this. In our usual life, we have problems, you have problems, everyone struggles at times with hardships and trials. If you haven't, you will. But now we are surrounded by dozens of people who are in the midst of life and death! They are struggling with things much bigger than the normal problems of life. I didn't realize how hard it would be on my emotions until I was home again. It took me a day or so to just to adjust back to normal.
We feel that we have been ushered into whole new lives. The people are different, the places are different, and the circumstances are different. Suddenly everything is new and much harder. And yet, God is here, just as He was, and just as He will be.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A Visit From Josh
Josh flew in from Atlanta to spend the weekend with Justin, and take Justin's car back to Atlanta with him. They need a 2nd car and coincidentally, Justin can't drive for awhile, so it worked out well.
It is fun to have all the guys together again!
It is fun to have all the guys together again!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Goin' Home Again
At the Hope Lodge, we are responsible to do our own laundry, including our sheets and towels. So this morning we got all of that done so that when we return, everything will be clean and fresh. We got all packed and ready to go back to Des Moines for the weekend, and had two things left to do. One was Justin's treatment.
The other was a root canal for me. I have been having trouble with this tooth for awhile, and it flared up about 2 weeks ago. I take Ibuprofen all the time to keep it from aching. I called my dentist, who doesn't do root canals. We decided that Iowa City would be a good place for me to have it done, so I made the appointment.
Before I left, I got to see Cherie and Alan. I told them if my kid could go through radiation and brain cancer, I could have a root canal without complaint. They just chuckled. He spoke with Justin for a few minutes about the radiation, the similarities of their tumors, and how everything was going. Alan was so sweet to take some time to encourage Justin along the way.
The root canal itself wasn't much. Very similar to a filling...it just took a lot longer. But while the dentist was drilling, he accidentally broke the crown on the tooth. I have ceramic crowns, and he doesn't have much experience with them. So now I have a temporary filling, and will have to set up an appointment for my dentist to put in a new crown. Ugh. Wasn't ready for that.
The other was a root canal for me. I have been having trouble with this tooth for awhile, and it flared up about 2 weeks ago. I take Ibuprofen all the time to keep it from aching. I called my dentist, who doesn't do root canals. We decided that Iowa City would be a good place for me to have it done, so I made the appointment.
Before I left, I got to see Cherie and Alan. I told them if my kid could go through radiation and brain cancer, I could have a root canal without complaint. They just chuckled. He spoke with Justin for a few minutes about the radiation, the similarities of their tumors, and how everything was going. Alan was so sweet to take some time to encourage Justin along the way.
The root canal itself wasn't much. Very similar to a filling...it just took a lot longer. But while the dentist was drilling, he accidentally broke the crown on the tooth. I have ceramic crowns, and he doesn't have much experience with them. So now I have a temporary filling, and will have to set up an appointment for my dentist to put in a new crown. Ugh. Wasn't ready for that.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Our New Life
Today was a normal day of our new life. Up in the morning, breakfast, in the car to drive to the Radiation Center, then off to find something to do for the rest of the day.
The weather has been bitter cold with temps way below zero. I told Justin to pack his winter coat and he told me he didn't have one anymore...he left it back at college. So off we went today to get him a real coat. After searching many stores, we finally found a really good one. On sale. Unfortunately, the sale price was way more than I wanted to spend...but everything else was very low quality. Oh, well, now we won't have to worry about it anymore. He is warm, and I am happy.
We have been getting to know the others staying here. I met one couple last night-Cherie and Alan. Alan has a brain tumor similar to Justin's, but in the later stage. His doc told him if he did all the treatments, he might live 14 more months. He was very concerned about Justin and was a real encouragement to me. I found out quickly that they are Christians, so the bond we share was evident from the start. Now I look for them each time I go to the common areas.
The weather has been bitter cold with temps way below zero. I told Justin to pack his winter coat and he told me he didn't have one anymore...he left it back at college. So off we went today to get him a real coat. After searching many stores, we finally found a really good one. On sale. Unfortunately, the sale price was way more than I wanted to spend...but everything else was very low quality. Oh, well, now we won't have to worry about it anymore. He is warm, and I am happy.
We have been getting to know the others staying here. I met one couple last night-Cherie and Alan. Alan has a brain tumor similar to Justin's, but in the later stage. His doc told him if he did all the treatments, he might live 14 more months. He was very concerned about Justin and was a real encouragement to me. I found out quickly that they are Christians, so the bond we share was evident from the start. Now I look for them each time I go to the common areas.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Trial Run
Justin had a trial run today, to make sure all was ready when he starts getting radiation tomorrow. It was easy and fast. We get to park in the valet parking, where the car stays for the few minutes we are there.
So it begins.
So it begins.
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